I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
