meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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