you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
BRING THE BAGELS
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
