Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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