I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
