Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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