Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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