Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
