8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
