Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
