the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There r osticjed everywhere
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
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