Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The air was thick with penises
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize