I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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