So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Watching her eat just hurts me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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