i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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