she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
