Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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