Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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