Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
