Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
