she was so not down for the gang bang
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
