she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
