Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
