thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like