I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize