Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
