i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
