Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
