i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
