Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
