to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
smell my finger.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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