Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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