i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
