this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
