Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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