Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
