Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
