forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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