Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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