Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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