He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
