I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
