You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Bring me that man meat
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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