The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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