All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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