that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
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Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
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Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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