Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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