It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
