ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
