Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
