What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
