I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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