Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
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At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
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I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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