At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
