I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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