Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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