i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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