I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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