before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
